My Race Car Mind

So, my drive to school is long - like an hour each way kind of long - but the upside is that it's straight down one main road and there's hardly any traffic, which means I breeze down the roads and don't have to think a ton about it.

Instead, I let my mind wander. Unfortunately, this is the most common time for me to remember to-do list items, which I of course later forget because I can't write them down while I am driving. Other than that, I can't even begin to list all of the things that come through my mind.

[ Events. Life Lessons. People. Situations. Memories. Food. Regrets. Plans. And so much more. ]

My mind doesn't just do this while I am driving. It does this really at any point when I have a moment to just live in my own head.

It wasn't until this morning that I realized how chaotic and crazy it is. I almost wish I had a scribe in my mind who could write down a script of everything I think about just so I can see the extreme nature of it.

I've always known that my mind's speed was crazy fast. I realized that the reason I speak extremely quickly is to try and get my thoughts out before I forget them. A friend also recently pointed out how I type so insanely fast, and that too is so I can get my thoughts out in time. I overanalyze things way too much because I think about one situation or thing way more than I probably should. Even as I type this, I am mentally rambling about it and how I should best type it out.

But I realized this morning that this isn't healthy. No, I don't mean "unhealthy" like my brain is suddenly going to combust or like I'm wearing myself down.

It's unhealthy because I don't make myself be quiet and listen for a long period of time to God. I hear God all the time and He speaks to me all of the time. But I don't live out that verse of "be still and know that I am God" because I am never 100% fully still.

I, and we all, need to just turn off the power and rest in who God is and what He is saying. I need to stop trying to figure everything out on my own and let God write my to-do list... in His words and His way. Not only does He have a far better plan for me, but He has the ability to make a list while I am driving :)

Israel

Today is May 5.

Most of the country knows it to be a day of drinking, Mexican food, more drinking, and partying. That, of course, is because it's Cinco De Mayo. That's great and all, but it also happens to be more important day for many. Tonight at sundown began Yom Ha'Atzmaut, or Israel Independence Day.

In a small art museum on May 14, 1948, a small group of people crammed in the small building to proclaim the establishment of the State of Israel, eight hours before the British Mandate of Palestine was due to end. After David Ben-Gurion read the Declaration of Independence, they recited the Shehecheyanu, signed the Declaration, and the crowd sang Hatikvah, which is now Israel's national anthem. Although the ceremony didn't last long, it was a monumental moment that solidified Israel's legitimacy as an independent nation.

I had the honor of visiting this building and sitting in the same exact room as the group did when the declaration was signed. Our tour guide explained the history and then played the recording of Hatikvah that was sung at the actual ceremony in 1948. It was then that I not only got chills, but that I felt the fruition and completion of my Jewish faith. Our Jewish people have been opposed and persecuted for centuries. Finally Jews have our own place to call home, whether you live there or not.

No matter who opposes Israel and what the country the size of New Jersey goes through, she will always be God's chosen nation and should never be forgotten.

Lowest Prompt Hierarchy

I was in my car on my way home from work and I heard God's voice in my head. Now God speaks to me pretty often, mostly to correct something I am doing wrong, and a lot of the time it's pretty short and to the point. It's usually "don't even try" or "aren't I more important?". Short, but super punchy. 

This time was different. This time, He asked me if His corrections for me were any different than how I correct my students. I am a Special Education teacher and I work mostly with kids who need help with their behaviors. I remind my kids a lot to follow my directions the first time, to finish their work and then they can play, or things similar to that. As I was pondering God's question over, He put the line "prompt hierarchy faded to the lowest level necessary" in my head. You may be wondering why on earth that would just pop into my head... 

It's a phrase that special education teachers put very often into goals for their students. It basically means that if the student's goal is to begin their work right away, that we hope for them to master that goal independently, but if they can't we will begin to prompt them lightly, either with visual cues or a verbal reminder. If they still do not start on their work, we move to more intense prompts, such as gesturing, modeling how to begin, or the final step which is moving their arms or body to begin the work. We hope that we don't have to get to the more intensive steps, but sometimes it is necessary.

I was so confused as to why God was putting this phrase into my head, until suddenly the lightbulb went off. God gives us spiritual goals that He wants us to master. These goals show Him that we trust Him and want to please Him, and are doing what is necessary to build our relationship with Him. Obviously, oftentimes we don't independently master these goals and instead put our priorities on other things. When we fail to do His will, God has to begin prompting us and putting either people in our paths, circumstances in our lives, or lines in our heads to get us back on track.

My hope and prayer is that I have the self-control to make right priorities and the strength to continue on when it's hard.

Here we go!

I absolutely love writing and I have a lot of crazy thoughts that run through my head. I figured I might as well write them down and share them :) Hope you enjoy reading and follow the blog!