Messianic Mishpocha

For the past few months, something that has been heavy on my heart is thinking about how I blessed I am to be a part of my Messianic community.  There is something wonderful that comes from being around people who are in the exact same place in life as you are. What is even more special than that is when you are a SUPER minority living out the exact same calling and purpose which is hardly ever fully understood or accepted by either side, Jew or Gentile. 

There's a mentality and a mindset that comes with living a certain way that is semi-unexplainable yet part of the core of what you believe and how you act in every day life. This is common in many ethnic or religious backgrounds, but is not the same across the board. When people ask questions like "Why don't you celebrate Christmas?", "What background do you want the person you marry to be from?", "Why don't you want to go to church?", or "Why do you use certain words or phrases and not others?", my answer is usually something along the lines of "because it's just what we do". 

I've been faced many, many times with such questions and honestly don't always know how to answer them because it's just how I've been raised. It's not that I have been brainwashed or haven't accepted them for myself, but it's like asking someone of another ethnic or religious background why they keep certain customs or traditions... it's just how they do things, even though it probably holds an actual purpose. People don't always ask questions or voice their confusion, but I can see that they don't completely understand why I believe what I do or why I live the way I do, and perhaps don't even see any reason to fully go into it.

Now... all of this is to explain why I feel like the best version of myself around my Messianic community. Not only do I not get these questions or misunderstandings, but everyone around me in these settings also lives the exact same way. There's just an unspoken connection that is there when you are around people so similar to yourself. I know that most likely, my Messianic Jewish friends will worship and approach spiritual concepts in the same way that I do. When conversations come up, there is a shared understanding of certain terms or concepts that make it easy to flow through a discussion with no need to explain what you feel might be inherent.

The questions and topics that come up most often with me and my Messianic friends are usually about: 
- Sharing our testimonies
- Explaining what God has done for us recently
- Figuring out when we can all see each other next
- Telling how we and our families got involved in the Messianic movement
- Describing why we do or don't feel called to move to Israel
- Reliving the highlights and memories of Messianic events
- Talking about times when people didn't fully understand our beliefs and lives.
.. and also the oh-so typical matchmaking. 

I am not saying anything negative at all about my non-Messianic friends so if you're reading this and think I'm bashing you or putting you down, I promise I am not at all! I have actually been extremely blessed to have many non-Messianic friends who have a love for the Messianic world and have purposed to develop an understanding about what I believe. 

The moral of all of this is that I am so thankful to be at a place where I feel so comfortable and loved by my Messianic community and the fellowship I get through all of our times spent together (at Messiah, regionals, and random visits, and also on social media, texting, and phone calls). Through this comfort and love, I have solidified a perfect peaceful foundation that has allowed me to tackle the questions and misunderstandings that come from others. It has most importantly encouraged me and given me the security to grow spiritually and be the truest version of myself.

If you are a part of my circle of Messianic friends, I thank you. I thank you for choosing to live just like I do. I thank you for making me feel fully accepted for what I believe, how I serve God, and how I think. I thank you for loving all of my craziness and confusion... because you have it all too!

Just Keep Swimming

A few weeks back, there was a terrible hailstorm that began while I was driving home from work. There was big hail, lightning, intense rain, and terrible winds. As I have mentioned before, I drive an hour each way to work so I wasn't escaping this storm quickly and I was not even half way through my drive when it began. I pulled over at first and figured I would wait it out. But then I realized I was just a sitting duck if I stayed there. So, with my blinkers on and my foot hovering over the brake, I began driving again. I kept repeating "you will never leave me. nothing can harm me. no one can harm me" over and over out loud and finally, 20 minutes later, I was out of it with the sun shining down on me.

I was extremely grateful and relieved, but became even more grateful when I saw later that a huge tree fell over the whole road only 30 minutes after I passed the spot. Not only was I not hurt by that tree, but more importantly I wasn't stuck sitting in the hour or more of traffic that it caused by blocking the road when all I wanted was to be home.

That was two weeks ago and, to be honest, I haven't thought about it much since then... until this afternoon.

I was driving home and doing all of my best thinking and realized how that scary drive is extremely similar to our relationship with God. "How does that work?" you may ask...

Often times, when difficult and tough things come our way in life, we are so tempted to just take a time out and give up. Although not even trying to tackle the challenges is the most stress-free route, what we should do is attack the trials head on with God as our guide.

Although it is going to be scary and we're going to want to just give up, it's so worth it. As long as we trust in God and have a constant dialogue with Him, we can make it through anything. If we stop trusting in God and listening to God, or take a time-out, our promised end goal may get pushed back or we make hinder what great things are coming our way.

My Race Car Mind

So, my drive to school is long - like an hour each way kind of long - but the upside is that it's straight down one main road and there's hardly any traffic, which means I breeze down the roads and don't have to think a ton about it.

Instead, I let my mind wander. Unfortunately, this is the most common time for me to remember to-do list items, which I of course later forget because I can't write them down while I am driving. Other than that, I can't even begin to list all of the things that come through my mind.

[ Events. Life Lessons. People. Situations. Memories. Food. Regrets. Plans. And so much more. ]

My mind doesn't just do this while I am driving. It does this really at any point when I have a moment to just live in my own head.

It wasn't until this morning that I realized how chaotic and crazy it is. I almost wish I had a scribe in my mind who could write down a script of everything I think about just so I can see the extreme nature of it.

I've always known that my mind's speed was crazy fast. I realized that the reason I speak extremely quickly is to try and get my thoughts out before I forget them. A friend also recently pointed out how I type so insanely fast, and that too is so I can get my thoughts out in time. I overanalyze things way too much because I think about one situation or thing way more than I probably should. Even as I type this, I am mentally rambling about it and how I should best type it out.

But I realized this morning that this isn't healthy. No, I don't mean "unhealthy" like my brain is suddenly going to combust or like I'm wearing myself down.

It's unhealthy because I don't make myself be quiet and listen for a long period of time to God. I hear God all the time and He speaks to me all of the time. But I don't live out that verse of "be still and know that I am God" because I am never 100% fully still.

I, and we all, need to just turn off the power and rest in who God is and what He is saying. I need to stop trying to figure everything out on my own and let God write my to-do list... in His words and His way. Not only does He have a far better plan for me, but He has the ability to make a list while I am driving :)

Israel

Today is May 5.

Most of the country knows it to be a day of drinking, Mexican food, more drinking, and partying. That, of course, is because it's Cinco De Mayo. That's great and all, but it also happens to be more important day for many. Tonight at sundown began Yom Ha'Atzmaut, or Israel Independence Day.

In a small art museum on May 14, 1948, a small group of people crammed in the small building to proclaim the establishment of the State of Israel, eight hours before the British Mandate of Palestine was due to end. After David Ben-Gurion read the Declaration of Independence, they recited the Shehecheyanu, signed the Declaration, and the crowd sang Hatikvah, which is now Israel's national anthem. Although the ceremony didn't last long, it was a monumental moment that solidified Israel's legitimacy as an independent nation.

I had the honor of visiting this building and sitting in the same exact room as the group did when the declaration was signed. Our tour guide explained the history and then played the recording of Hatikvah that was sung at the actual ceremony in 1948. It was then that I not only got chills, but that I felt the fruition and completion of my Jewish faith. Our Jewish people have been opposed and persecuted for centuries. Finally Jews have our own place to call home, whether you live there or not.

No matter who opposes Israel and what the country the size of New Jersey goes through, she will always be God's chosen nation and should never be forgotten.

Lowest Prompt Hierarchy

I was in my car on my way home from work and I heard God's voice in my head. Now God speaks to me pretty often, mostly to correct something I am doing wrong, and a lot of the time it's pretty short and to the point. It's usually "don't even try" or "aren't I more important?". Short, but super punchy. 

This time was different. This time, He asked me if His corrections for me were any different than how I correct my students. I am a Special Education teacher and I work mostly with kids who need help with their behaviors. I remind my kids a lot to follow my directions the first time, to finish their work and then they can play, or things similar to that. As I was pondering God's question over, He put the line "prompt hierarchy faded to the lowest level necessary" in my head. You may be wondering why on earth that would just pop into my head... 

It's a phrase that special education teachers put very often into goals for their students. It basically means that if the student's goal is to begin their work right away, that we hope for them to master that goal independently, but if they can't we will begin to prompt them lightly, either with visual cues or a verbal reminder. If they still do not start on their work, we move to more intense prompts, such as gesturing, modeling how to begin, or the final step which is moving their arms or body to begin the work. We hope that we don't have to get to the more intensive steps, but sometimes it is necessary.

I was so confused as to why God was putting this phrase into my head, until suddenly the lightbulb went off. God gives us spiritual goals that He wants us to master. These goals show Him that we trust Him and want to please Him, and are doing what is necessary to build our relationship with Him. Obviously, oftentimes we don't independently master these goals and instead put our priorities on other things. When we fail to do His will, God has to begin prompting us and putting either people in our paths, circumstances in our lives, or lines in our heads to get us back on track.

My hope and prayer is that I have the self-control to make right priorities and the strength to continue on when it's hard.

Here we go!

I absolutely love writing and I have a lot of crazy thoughts that run through my head. I figured I might as well write them down and share them :) Hope you enjoy reading and follow the blog!